I was really afraid for some reason of Postpartum Depression. I was apart of so many mom groups already where people talked about it, my sister mentioned to me she went through it for a day or so... even though I havent ever suffered from depression it still runs heavily in my family (or so my mom tells me) I thought a lot about what I would do if I caught myself feeling depressed, thinking of positive affirmations to tell myself.
I still feel pretty awesome and im 4 months in.
Maybe it was just me but I feel like everyone makes pregnancy and life with a child seem SO DIFFICULT. I hear people say life before children was great. I hear them say "you'll never sleep".... its not difficult. Life before a child was a different life and I promise you, you will sleep... its just a different sleep.
I was a totally different person as soon as the doctor said "Here she is!" followed by "Yeah she is big" I saw Scott standing over me, holding my hand staring over in her direction with pure "Christmas morning joy" on his face. We became new people. I mean, do people not anticipate this when then find out they're pregnant? This is leveling up in life. This is the jump you made to land you on the tip of the pole in Super Mario Bro's.
My life with my daughter now is challenging some days don't get me wrong. Her first month on this planet was straight delirium and confusion followed by learning. You spend all this time reading information hoping it will help you later and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt. But theres this weird, satisfation thing that happens when you do everything right and shes just perfectly content because of you. I have never experienced this with anything, the only thing that comes close is my Great Dane and its really no comparison (I love you Ollie... yous a good boy)
And sleep. So this was another thing people seem to complain about. Your lack of sleep that you get after you have kids. I slept a total of 4 hours when we were in the hospital for 3 days. I did do a couple of head bobs but you just see this tiny human that is so perfect next to you (and watch the food network) ((and also nurses are coming in every 3 hours)) and you dont even realize you've lost sleep. Yeah, you're tired and you would love to sleep but its not the elephant in the room. "Losing my sleep" was a huge worry of mine just cause I don't like the person I am with out it. Then I remembered.... Coffee. I hadn't had a cup of coffee in 3 weeks (laugh it up... and yes I had coffee while I was pregnant) Coffee gave me the energy to do everything in the first month. Ripley has kept the same schedule now for weeks. Waking up about twice during the night and my body is just used to functioning on little sleep. I get a decent 5-6 hours of sleep in which seems to be enough for me to feel whole in the morning and a cup of coffee.
and again maybe I just prepared for the absolute worst. No sleep, No life, Depression, Health Issues.. blah blah.... It wasnt difficult. It wasnt easy but it wasnt difficult. Its not like choosing the most difficult hiking path, that shit is difficult. If you did all those things people recommended you do prior to having a baby.. you will be fine.. If you do little research and reading theres a good chance this might be VERY VERY DIFFICULT.
I also found out there is amazing support groups online. I joined the "What to expect" app and they have groups for everything, even down to the month you're due. For example I was able to join a lot of groups where they were just filled with other woman who were due in October. Its like we're all going through the same thing at the same time and for some reason that is so comforting. I was also able to join groups having to do with other specifics like Breastfeeding or Co-sleeping where other more experienced mothers had "been there, done that" on facebook (you can join a group having to do with just about anything) and everyone is generally pretty supportive.
It is all pretty overwhelming. All the information there is and all the things you "MIGHT" go through. If youre reading this, and you're a new mom... it gets better, just like everyone says.
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