Thursday, December 31, 2015

Happy new year

I feel like its hard for me to feel like I should still feel hurt about 2015. I lost the child Scott and I made, that whole month is still very hard for me to comprehend. Thinking back just makes me feel empty, which is something I don't think I will ever be able to fill. 

I also finally let go of 2 people that were extremely toxic in my life. Two people that someone shouldn't have to make the decision to let go, but I really think I had enough of trying to fix something I cannot. I would rather not stick around to find out what happens because after my miscarriage, I realized how badly stress can affect someone and how controllable it sometimes actually can be. 

I don't want to continue to baby some people because I feel at this age, we most certainly should know better and if you want to truth... the truth is, most of you can't handle the truth. 

Its hard for me to feel sorry for myself when I feel so lucky to have my partner so close by my side. So ready to help me, so ready to fix what ever is broken. Even when I feel like I'm struggling with my feelings I just remember how lucky I am to have him. 

2015 had a lot of lessons for me. It taught me not to be afraid to say what I think even if it might not be what someone necessarily wants to hear. It taught me to push through but if I feel like I can't make it to just call out for help. 

And now we welcome 2016. This year is the year Scott and I will get married, and while I have no clue where that may be, I do know that I am marrying my soul mate, and I have never been so sure about that. 





























 

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