So I'm turning 28 this year. This year was a real hurdle for me. There were a lot of changes, ups and downs and a lot of adjustment but over all I realized this year how Important all the things Ive been through were. How everything I've been through has led up until this point to help me jump over all the nasty moments. So I came up with 10 things that I realized were necessary to learn to be here, and be the happy person I am.
1. Don't stay with the cheater. Someone said to me the other day "I loved him more than anyone, but I'm worth more than a cheater." It's true. You are worth so much more than someone who takes you for granted. No matter how much you love them. Unfortunately someone has to teach those people that cheating is not okay. Cheaters have to learn their lesson too. Sometimes they never do, but you are worth more than that.
2. Keep the personal stuff to yourself and your close group of friends/family. Even then, somethings are needed to figure out on your own. This is your life! not facebook. Not instagram. Not mom or dads. You are an adult and its time to start making some real hard decisions on your own. That means taking a bath, writing in your paper journal, doing some meditation, what ever you need to do PERSONALLY to achieve your own answer for things. No more involving others in your personal life, you have to learn to fly.
3. Moisturize. Start when you're 16, you have to. Take care of your skin. I live in Florida and my skin saves me from a lot. It is the biggest organ, which means it needs the most care, and we just take it for granted some times. Respect the skin!
4. Eat healthier/ Be healthier. Eat better quality food. Eat smaller portions so you can afford to eat the higher quality food. Go for a run and listen to some music. I ride a lot, and it's just another release I have for tension from work or relationships. It's you time, and be hardcore! Don't cheat yourself. I'm 27 years old and it baffles me to think all of my insides are the same age as me. My father was a mechanic, and he used to compare our bodies to car engines. The only down fall is you can repair a car, but sometimes you can't repair an organ. It's only fair that you keep up on your own maintenance!
5. When the time calls, no matter how tired you are, you do your duty. I mean when family is needing help, or friends need a shoulder to cry on. Be there. Do your part as a thoughtful person of society. I don't care if no one has ever given you a shoulder, you do it because someone has to teach people that its okay to be nice to others, even if that person is you. Don't change because no one else is as nice as you. How insane does that sound? just because everyone else is an asshole, doesn't mean you should jump on the asshole boat. You know you're better than that.
6. Love everyone. Don't put up a wall because some guy before made you hate life and love and everything that comes with it. It's no ones fault but the person that actually did it. They did you a favor anyways. It's not like you wanted to date an asshole right? Wake up! you're better than that! You deserve all the qualities you dream of in someone. If you are just patient, it will come. So what if you have to run over a few assholes to get that person. Until then, everyone you meet gets a clean slate. You are only allowed to pass judgment once someone actually makes you have to. Tell more people you actually care about that you love them. "I love you" is a strong phrase and people should know when you love them. I lost a real dear friend of mine when I was younger, and it made me terrified. I was so scared because I knew that anyone could die at any moment, for no reason. People need to know when you care for them. They need to know daily. They need to know when you're thinking of them. Every time I am thinking of someone I text them right away. I got into this habit a few years ago. I may not hang out with everyone I care about all the time but they definitely know I care about them.
Keep your family close. My grandma used to always say "You're a Hendricks, No one gets left behind" We are there for each other, with out judgement. You need a hand? I've got one for you. Take this and apply it to every day, with anyone. Just because its a nice thing to do. We need more helpful people. Do services for free, maybe you'll get lucky and get paid anyways, but do charity work if and when you can.
This place already is a scary place. Everyone in their life time is going to meet at least one terrible person. That sounds insane knowing all of my friends are good people and would never do anything to intentionally hurt someone else, and yet at some point they're going to get real hurt. Everyone is already trying to build some sort of a wall to keep everyone out. Give people hope.
7. Sex doesn't equal love. It doesn't make someone stay with you. It doesn't make someone want you. It doesn't make someone care about you. It doesn't make someone want to treat you any differently than when they didn't have sex with you. So don't use it as a tool to get the things you truly wish for.
8. Communicate everything. This is so important. I grew up with someone who was pretty much the master at reverse psychology and it made me realize how important words are. They are basically a verbal contract for anything. You say something, it has meaning. Everything else but words can be interpreted differently. This is why communication is so important. Pretending like something doesn't exist or not talking about it, only makes things worse. No one is going to know what you want if you never say it. I barely know what I want, it would be impossible for me to know what you want with out you actually telling me. Otherwise I would be stuck only doing the things I want to do, and that is super selfish.
9. Read. Its important to be up to date with things. It keeps your mind wondering and thinking. I read an article once that said reading could possibly prevent Alzheimer's. That is enough for me to read 3 articles a day on top of novels. I also still write in my personal journal every day.
10. Stay positive. It's going to be okay. I'm going to be okay. This is all going to blow over in a matter of time. Seriously, shit happens but you're alive! you're well! unless you're not and even in that case, you're still alive! Cancer sucks, death sucks, fighting sucks but stay positive. "You have to stay strong for everyone else" is something I seem to tell myself A LOT and I'm not sure where it came from or who made me think I need to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders, but ever since I was little I needed to take care of everyone. You need to be strong for everyone else. You need to be strong for your mom and dad, or your children or what ever it may be thats in your life right now.
Other people need good examples of people and that is your duty as a human being is to be a product of our future, or their future. So they can have hope because hope is so important. Hope is essentially someones soul, and with out hope there will be nothing.
The only thing I realize now, being older is that kind of stress will age you. Not really physically but mentally and I really wish I didn't have that mentality when I was 7 or 8. Thinking those things even now is very very hard and taxing on a persons being, but it doesn't stop me from setting an example, and a very good one at that.
I'm not saying its not okay to cry and feel hurt. It's totally okay to grieve and feel. You need time to deal, everyone does, but eventually get up... Force yourself...
No comments:
Post a Comment